Chained To The Orc Chieftain

Chapter 1

Mary

             I knock hard on the door.

             There’s a desperation in my rap but I can’t afford to lose it out here, in front of the clan. I’m wound so tightly, I feel like I’m about to explode into a million pieces.

I knock again, louder this time.

The door finally opens to Bonnie’s confused face. Her eyes light up when she sees me, reading me with the expertise of family. “Oh, God, Mary,” she says softly, her tone a knowing one. We stare at one another for a long moment, a million unsaid things passing between us before she holds the door open wider for me. “Come in.”

She barely manages to get the door closed before I fall apart. I hide my face in an elbow and sob like I’ve been needing to since I found out. Bonnie doesn’t interrupt, simply stroking my back in long sweeps and holding me as I cry it out. There will be a time to talk about it but not now. Not just yet.

"Oh, Mary. Just let it out," she tells me, and I do.

It feels like I'll never find the end of my tears, but somehow, my body runs out before my soul is ready to. Bonnie seems to take my silence as me calming down.

"Okay, Mary," she says, pulling back to look at me. "Do you think you can tell me what has you so upset?"

I sniffle, barely hearing the words as I breathe, "I'm pregnant."

Her eyes widen just a little before they narrow with a question. "Who's the father?"

That one reminder makes me burst into tears all over again. 

Bonnie gathers me up in a warm embrace, ignoring the high whistle of the kettle in the other room. Though the misery remains, reason returns. I break from her hug and wipe my tears. “I don’t mean to keep you.”

“Stay right here,” she says, guiding me toward her couch. “Green or black?”

I wave her offer away and rest my head on the couch back miserably, the tears coming in a steady stream. I don’t want to be like this. It’s my job to keep my head, and still, I’m crying over an orc!

Bonnie returns with two cups. “I made it just the way you like it. Two sugars and milk.”

I accept it, staring into the faun-hued liquid.

She takes a sip of her own, then sets it down and gives me all her attention. "You know you can tell me anything.”

Can I? I don’t dare take a sip, setting it down instead. “I can’t have caffeine.”

Bonnie’s concerned expression freezes. “Oh!” She glances down at my stomach, then back up at me. “Right. I'm sorry.”

Her sudden realization is almost humorous, and a miserable laugh escapes me. “Don’t tell Ur, please. I don’t want anyone else to know.”

“I’d never,” she assures me, putting down her tea and sitting beside me. “Who’s the father?” She asks again, more gently this time.

I keep my jaw clamped shut lest my tongue betrays me.

She rubs me as if she’s trying to warm me up. “It’s okay. These things happen.”

“Not to me,” I moan, dropping my head into the crook of her shoulder. “I’m so stupid!”

“You’re not stupid,” she says. “You are one of the smartest people I know. You’re organized and have an eye for detail and you make everything you touch better. And whoever this bastard is, he’s going to get a taste of my medicine, if he doesn’t man up.”

Another miserable laugh escapes me.

She continues stroking my back. “Tell me. I promise I won’t string him up on the gate by his innards.”

“I shouldn’t-”

“You shouldn’t keep it bottled up like this. How long have you known?”

I shake my head, unable to look her in the eye. “A week or two, maybe.” Though others have had suspicions for longer.

Bonnie is waiting for me to fess up, and I can’t stand the pressure any longer. She’s right. I’m going to go insane if I don’t confide in someone, and who better than my own cousin? At least she has my best interest at heart. “It’s Loki’s.”

A chill comes over her. “Isn’t he supposed to-”

“Yes,” I admit, wanting to tear my hair out at the prospect. “He's not allowed to marry a human. The elders insisted he take an orc woman, since he’s the chieftain. Oh, Bonnie! What should I do?”

She gathers me up against her chest, and only shakes her head.

“It’s because of Yrish and Inzo and… Ur,” I continue, hating to admit that her happiness is the cause of my misery. “The elders don’t want him following in their footsteps. But it’s too late for me.” For the first time, I touch my stomach and weep at the prospect of this child never knowing his father the way they should. “This was a huge mistake.”

Bonnie shakes her head. “A child is never a mistake.

             “You have me, Mary. You have us.”

             I sink against her and let her hold me.

             We sit like that for a long time before she sighs. “I never expected. I mean, you’ve always said you two were just friends. I hadn't thought anything else of it.”

You're the only one. I want to grumble.

             “It shouldn’t have happened,” I admit, “but, over the last few months, I’ve been spending a lot of time with him.” My grief has shriveled into something manageable again, and I feel like I owe Bonnie an explanation. I sit up and fold my hands in my lap, staring at them. “When he got injured in the fight, I took care of him.

             “There was already something there, you know?” I look up at her to gauge her reaction. Her expression is full of compassion as she rubs my knee, coaxing me to continue. “I think it went too far and…” I touch my stomach again.

             “But you have feelings for him,” she says. “Does he know?”

             I shake my head furiously. “I’d never tell him, not after what the council decided. His people need him more than I do. It’s not my place to love him.”

             She goes still at my confession. “You love him?”

             Tears well up again, blinding me. “Of course, I love him!” I shout, that grief bubbling to the surface again. Bonnie simply listens as I rant. “He’s a wonderful orc, and a better leader. And, oh, you have no idea how sweet he is!

             “He’s so gentle and honest.” I clasp my hands tightly, the knuckles going white. “It’s not fair that I have to work with him every day, pretending I don’t have this great weight on my heart. Knowing that his child is growing inside of me. I can’t keep smiling and pressing on like this doesn’t affect me!

             “When I first realized I cared about him, I couldn’t believe it, myself. He’s an orc, I thought, resolved to thinking they were all just a bunch of brutes. Loki proves me wrong every day.” I touch my lips. “I still remember how he kissed me, like he was afraid to hurt me. Like he cared more about my wellbeing than his own gratification.”

             “Mary,” Bonnie interrupts gently, catching my hand and squeezing. “Does he know?”

             I shake my head. “I’m not sure.”

             “He’d be an idiot not to.” She sweeps a tear from my cheek. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to carry this weight around all by yourself. You’re right, it’s not fair.”

             We sit together in silence for a long while.

             Outside, the clan carries on with the day.

             I can’t help but wonder where Loki is, right now, and what he’s doing. Who he’s with. He’s already searching for a mate, gathering information on the orc women in this clan and in others. He’s not subtle about the search either, leaving a list on his desk for me to find. After everything that’s happened between us, no less.

He doesn’t love me, I think, though when I close my eyes, I see his, full of compassion and kindness. He’s burned into my brain, and I can recall the taste of him on my tongue, even when he’s miles away. If this is love, I don’t want it.

It’s too painful.

The tea has gotten cold but Bonnie does nothing about it, petting my hair in slow, even sweeps. “So,” she finally says, breaking the tepid silence, "what do you plan on doing?”