I agreed to be the First Mate on his ship……
When all I wanted was to be the only mate in his bed.

I was Taneil’s servant for years.
And when I earned my freedom, he asked me to be by his side on his sailing vessel on his quest.

What he seeks will alter the balance of power on Protheka, and save his race from eternal damnation.
I agreed to help him and told him it was because of the job he offered me.

But it was always because of him. I couldn’t leave him.
And deep down, I hoped he didn’t want me to.

His hot minotaur body creates sparks between us.

Will we be able to turn those sparks to fires of love?

Or will it bring his whole race down when we crash and burn?

Chapter 1

Bella

The flickering light of the lanterns swaying from the hooks on the ceiling cast an eerie glow around the cabin, only adding to the strangeness of the tattered map before us.

“If Voral is at a loss with this thing, I don’t know how we’re supposed to riddle it out,” I groan as my eyes skim over the map’s surface for the umpteenth time tonight. Voral has been indispensable to the crew of the Star Treader in his years as our navigator, and Taneil and I had desperately hoped his obsession with maps would be able to shed some light on the strange document before us.

Unfortunately for all of us, he was as much at a loss as we are, though he was far more delighted about it. After we practically shoved the purple-scaled Naga navigator from the room, Taneil and I were left with nothing but flickering light and more questions as we tried to sort out the image before us.

“Let’s start from the beginning,” Taneil says, rubbing his hands over his face with a long-suffering sigh. I settle into the chair beside him with a huff, propping my elbow on the table and cupping my face in my hand. It’s going to be a long night.

“So this is where the whirlpool spit us out into the Undersea,” Taneil says gruffly, jabbing a furry finger toward an outcropping of stalagmites etched in fine ink on the map. I nod my agreement, although it’s about the only thing we can agree on when it comes to this godsforsaken map.

“If this is where we entered,” he continues, dragging a finger along the surface of the map. “Then this must be the island where the Selkies are keeping the arcane engine.” Taneil’s finger halts over a small island past an outcropping of more illustrated stalagmites. I begin shaking my head furiously, exhausted with the back and forth of this but refusing to yield when I know he’s wrong.

“It would be, if you didn’t insist on keeping the map upside down,” I clip back, thrusting a finger at an island outcropping in the opposite direction. “This is the island where the Selkies attacked us. The coastline was more curved than that one’s,” I say as I motion toward the island Taneil is pointing at.

Taneil growls his frustration, his hands balling into fists as he inhales deeply through his nose.

“Except the curvature of the coastline wouldn’t be visible at this scale,” he grumbles, his blue eyes hard as they find mine.

“We don’t know what the scale of this map is!” I exclaim as I throw my hands out exasperatedly.

“So then it’s perfectly reasonable to assume that it wouldn’t be visible!” Taneil retorts.

“Just because we don’t know doesn’t mean you’re automatically right,” I grumble at him as I turn my eyes back toward the map. Taneil might not be used to anyone calling him on his shit, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to yield ground to him when I’m certain he’s wrong.

I’m not in the business of soothing his ego just because he’s the Captain. He named me first mate for a reason, and he’s far too stuck in his ways for his own damned good.

“Just humor me,” I say, trying to adopt a gentler tone. “Let’s say I’m right- let’s say that this is the island Trigon led us to, and where we discovered the Selkie’s plot. That would make this island,” I say as I slide my finger further to the left, “The Sanctuary, where we dropped off the prisoners we rescued from the Selkies. Which would make sense, considering the amount of shipwrecks detailed around it,” I say as I shoot a pointed look at Taneil.

“Those could be just decoration,” he huffs. “And besides, there are shipwrecks all over the damned map. Including right here,” Taneil huffs as he jabs a finger at the island he thinks is the Sanctuary.

“But if I’m right,” I push forward, ignoring him. “Then we should be on course for this island. We don’t know what could be waiting for us there, but we need to prepare the crew just in case. And bring everybody in on the map,” I add.

“You’re not right. We’re here,” Taneil insists, jabbing a finger into the middle of an open expanse of water. “We won’t hit land for days, maybe a week or more. So there’s no need to worry anyone.”

We stare in silence at one another over the map, neither one of us willing to back down from the challenge. The dark patch over Taneil’s eye creases as his brows pull together while he looks at me, the black fur only serving to highlight the vivid blue of his eyes.

The dim light of the lantern casts a flickering, hazy glow as it reflects off of the stark white fur across his head and poking out from beneath the neck of his tunic, his spiraling horns looking even more deadly as his eyes narrow slightly at me.

The intensity of our staring turns heated as we gaze at each other, the challenge in Taneil’s eyes turning hungry. I gulp, blinking against the sudden swell of desire rising in my chest as I look back to the map.

“You’re wrong,” I mutter as I clear my throat, trying to force my focus back to the task at hand. “The map is upside down.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that,” I snipe, suddenly feeling frustrated. Even with all of the heat and history between us, Taneil never seems to be able to trust me fully, not unless he agrees with me.

“I’m the Captain of this ship. I have the final say. And I say you’re wrong,” Taneil growls as he rises to his feet, the finality in his voice only stoking the flames of my rage.

“You’re only pulling rank because you can’t stand that I’m right!” I retort, suddenly on my feet. “For once in your life, just listen!”

“No, you listen!” Taneil bites, his voice growing louder with every passing word. “You are a member on this ship, and whether you like it or not, I have the final say. You’re not right purely because you want to be. This map stays here and under wraps, and that is final!”

I blink at his volume, at the sheer fury rolling off of him, and something in me snaps.

“I’m done,” I say simply, turning away from him and striding toward the door. “When we’re topside again, find yourself a new first mate.” I don’t wait for him to respond before I’m out the door, slamming it behind me.

The cool night air envelops me as I reach the deck, and I inhale deeply, screwing my eyes shut against the pricking tears. After a few cleansing breaths, I open them again, stowing away those weak, useless feelings in a little box deep inside me.

I raise my eyes, looking for the stars out of sheer habit, only to find specks of the bioluminescent lichen that dot the Undersea’s rocky canopy. Vibrant, glowing blues, greens and purples swim above my head, only enhancing my growing feelings of being out of place.

At least the ceiling of this hellhole is visible tonight, I think darkly as I make my way towards the prow. If it even is night.

Time seems to pass differently here, although that’s likely just due to the absence of the sun and stars and sky. Bioluminescent life is the only source of light, and as far as we can tell, certain types of the glowing plants seem to be synched with the world above, glowing more brightly or in different colors in time with the rising and setting sun on the surface.

I sigh and lean over the prow of the Star Treader, watching as the hull cuts through the inkly black water below. It’s been years since I signed on as an official member of the crew, although I first came on to the ship as an indentured servant to Taneil.

Once my indentured status concluded, however, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I could possibly call home. Taneil, while a complete grouch, had always been fair and kind, and treated me like I was worthy of respect even with my lowered social standing.

I learned to love this ship, the sea, the constant change and adventure that came with a life far from land- but now, I’m beginning to wonder if I made the right choice all of those years ago.

I wouldn’t trade the adventures I’ve had for anything, of course, but things are just so… complicated now. After all of these years, things between Taneil and I have become different, strained in ways they weren’t before.

The first time I saw Taneil, I was swept off my feet. The minotaur is attractive, anyone can see that- but there was something about him that called to me, that made me feel like my life was just beginning.

Sometimes I still feel that way.

I drop my head into my hands with a groan, wishing I could simply squeeze all of these useless sentimentalities out of it like squeezing the juice from overripe fruit. The tension between Taneil and I seems to grow everyday, but anytime I’m around him, I always walk away more confused than I was when things started.

He’s attractive, and kind, and strong- he pushes me and challenges me in ways I never thought possible. But he’s also stubborn, and willful, and genuinely believes he knows better than everyone else. It’s absolutely infuriating.

Some small part of me wonders if maybe I only ever signed on to be a crew member in the hopes that whatever there is between Taneil and I would blossom into something more… tender.

I snort to myself, shaking my head. How absolutely stupid can I be? Taneil is beautiful, sure, but romance is out of the question. I could never be with someone who doesn’t see me as an equal, or value my input. And besides, Taneil couldn’t be less interested in me if he tries.

He wouldn’t want someone so prickly, anyway, a bitter part of me whispers. Sometimes, I look at Sandra and Trigon and feel like I could scream. They’re so happy together, and the way that they look at one another… it’s enough to break my heart.

I can’t help but wish Taneil and I could be like that, as silly as it is. But Taneil and I would never work. There’s been a handful of times in the years we’ve spent together where it seemed like it could be possible- where his eyes soften as they meet mine, or he steps closer to me in quiet moments as if all he could ever want is to be near to me.

Then, as quick as it happens, all of that tenderness disappears, and we’re right back to where we started. Sometimes I think he can’t stand me at all, that I’m nothing but a thorn in his side.

The sting of that thought feels too raw to bear, and I turn away from the prow, trudging back toward my cabin. My body is too heavy, my mind too numb to sit here and mull all of this over any more than I already have.

Sleep beckons to me as I cross the threshold into my room, kicking off my boots and crawling into my bed to eke out a few hours of restless sleep. I meant what I’d said to Taneil, even if it wasn’t for the reasons I’d said- I’m done being first mate. I can’t take this torturous, psychic limbo with him anymore.

As sleep sweeps in to claim me, my mind slows, circling back on one thought over and over again.

I’d rather take on a million Selkies and a thousand arcane engines than try to riddle out the secret of Taneil’s feelings; or my own.